Breastfeeding Journey

This past week was World Breastfeeding Week, and I didn't quite get this blog post up in time but any day should be a day to celebrate mama's and what they are capable of right?!

Anyways, I wanted to share about Kanaan and I's journey with breastfeeding these past 15 months. Why? mainly because not very many people talked about their experiences so I had no clue what to expect or what I was doing and want to maybe help other mamas, but also as a way to document my own experience so I don't forget 😊!

I knew from the moment I was pregnant that I wanted to nurse. I don't know why, I just felt that it was what I was supposed to do! I shopped in preparation for this with nursing covers, nursing bras, pump, nipple pads, the works. I actually remember having dreams about breastfeeding while pregnant haha! Did anyone else experience that?! Anyways, Kanaan was born and was able to latch and nurse within that first amazing hour of giving birth to him. I would like to think that those first times were easy, but I do remember being really worried that I wasn't "doing it right". The lactation consultant came around and helped me get the latch down good, and I was so thankful that Kanaan did not have any problems from the beginning.

And then we nursed every 2-2 1/2 hours. on the dot. I guess this was the part I did not really understand. The eating process can take up to thirty minutes and then that means you are doing it all over again in another hour and a half! haha but it was just something I had to get used to! I took Fennel essential oil to help my supply come in and boost it (and continued to take it throughout when my supply would drop). I also used Lavender and coconut oil to help with the cracked nipples (TMI- but again, helping other mamas out here!) It was also super painful for me when my milk came in. I remember crying because of it, and pumped to help relieve the engorgement. But thankfully it didn't last very long!

We had developed a little rhythm and used our own little version of the baby wise method, setting up a routine for eating, sleeping, and wake time. The best part about nursing in the beginning was just feeling so empowered. I am feeding my baby, keeping him alive. I absolutely LOVED the bonding and cuddle time that only I could provide for him. He would do little things like rub my arm, kick his leg gently, and sometimes pinch me haha that he only did while nursing and I loved it.

After about a month or so, he started having a hard time feeding, it was like he would choke and get a tummy ache and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I probably read every single article on the kellymom website and called a breastfeeding hotline 15 times. We finally decided that I had an oversupply and block fed to reduce it down and the problem was solved! I think so much of breastfeeding is trial and error and figuring out what works best for you and your baby. I just had to find the solution for us! I also want to say that I know some women cannot breastfeed or choose not to, and that is totally okay and fed is best! I didn't have to block feed very long, maybe a few weeks and then went back to feeding like normal. The schedule also just extends itself out over the months as they grow. 💕

Anyways, throughout these past several months there were moments where I had felt like a pacifier, a and milk cow. I got mastitis (cured with Frank, melrose, and lavender oil). I had a baby that hated the bottle, so I basically had him attached to me until the sippy cup at 7 months (even now he still won't drink milk). I had moments when my milk wouldn't let down and Kanaan was freaking out because of it and stress only makes it worse. He has been fed at home, at the zoo, at the doctor's office, I have leaned over his carseat to feed him in the car going down the highway.. you get the picture. I have gone in numerous times in the night. I got bit (only once because i flicked him hard and he hasn't done it again). I offer him comfort. There have been times that have been hard and not fun. It takes a lot of personal sacrifice to be a mom, and especially to be a breastfeeding mom! (Props to working moms who pump! I hated the pump!) There have been times I wanted to quite, but I just kept thinking that this time won't last forever, I won't get this back, and it is good for him!

Kanaan is almost 16 months old, and we nurse still in the morning, before nap, and before bedtime. There is so much pressure out there to be a certain type of mom and to do things certain ways. It is hard sometimes to just listen to your instincts and do what you think is best, but this is what I am trying to do. I don't know how much longer we will nurse, but I do know that I love the time I get to rock and cuddle my sweet boy every day. 💙